Gaining

Many fear gaining weight because of possible social consequences. If you've experienced such fear, what are you worried about exactly?

1. your appearance
2. that people will think you're a glutton
3. that people will think you're weak and undisciplined
4. that you'll have trouble finding/maintaining a relationship
5. other
6. some combination of the above.

Details welcome.

I’ve been gaining but slowly, first I don’t want stretch marks. Second family issues, I have two grown children, neither have mentioned by increasing weight. I do think about what my mom will think, even though she’s in a different state. I ‘m over sixty five.

The only particular thing I fear is how my parents would react, especially my mother.

While there have been, and are some fat individuals she respects, she has a general bias against them. Basically a bias against any man who weighs over 170 and any woman who weighs over 140 or so.

She has been this way for pretty much as long as I've known her. Basically continues to hold everyone to what's essentially 70s ideals. She'll say a woman who's 5'6" and 160 lbs could stand to lose some weight.

I don't normally bring up politics on here either, but the fact that Trump was a fundamentally despicable individual that she has an intense dislike for, even regardless of any political views or beliefs, and that he also happens to be somewhat large in stature and weight, really doesn't help matters.

I suspect she'd get over it, though it may be difficult at first and I'm *not* looking forward to it.

I don't know how she would react if her son weighed 250 lbs or more, or especially 300+ lbs.


Other than that, I'm not particularly concerned. The average American man weighs around 200 lbs, and the average American white man is around 202 lbs.

Someone who's 250, or 300+ will be heavier than the average, but not out of place since it's common enough to see everywhere.

In fact, in today's American society in the U.S., I'm not aware of any meaningful social advantage of any sort for a man to be any thinner. Actually, if he weighs under 130 there's social disadvantages.

Glutton? Whatever, who doesn't like yummy food?

Relationships? Not worried either. I haven't observed a high likelihood of heavier men being single.

Weak or undisciplined? Not really. They typically have a full-time job of some sort.

I experienced all of these fears and what I had to realize was that it was my life and I controlled who I wanted in my life. My mom was the one who kept saying comments about it but eventually, they fell of deaf ears with me. I had always been an athlete so that is what I saw myself as but I started to date women much older than me and they showed me that that plenty of women loved fat men. I was always self-conscious about the moobs that I grew and how people would respond to them and the only people who responded were women who approached me and were scared to ask for my number. They loved them and said as much. A lot of the fear is most in our heads and the truth is as you age; no one actual cares how obese we are because they are minding their own business

Definitely I worry about about exceeding my wife's patience with my weight. She isn't into thin guys, but not so much flabby either. It wouldn't be shaming, but I don't want to push her to the point that she feels she has to say something.

Besides that, opinion from my Mother, who can be pretty judgemental (she wouldn't be as likely to say anything to me, but would comment to my siblings, etc). And unspoken bias at work that could limit advancement or getting a different position.